Golden Needles, Golden Thread (Ven’shiri, SWG)
(These are the collected journals of a character I played for a short period of time named, Ven’shiri.)
SO! I get off the comm with my ex-wife, Shavi… she’s a piece of work, let me tell you! But she’s not the point. The point is, I paid three credits to have this Rodian man fellatiate me in the back of the Mos Eisley cantina. I never expected their snouts to feel so good!
Best two credits I ever spent!
Ven> Progeny! Darling! Where are you and that fabulous Lokidonian?
Ayy> Lok. We’re meeting with som—
Ven> Of course you’re on Lok! He’s from Lok! I’m not interrupting anything am I?
Ayy> Not yet, what is it you need?
Ven> Well, Progeny, I’m seeking the comm frequency of that Beautiful Doctor Brown.
Ayy> Beautiful Doctor Brown? Are you talking about Daofi?
Ven> Does he have the fantastic ass? I think that was his name, he told me to call him Doctor Ecan but I just can’t bear to demean him with such a boring name. It sounds so generically human.
Ayy> Dad… he IS generically human.
Ven> But that ass!
Ayy> Dad. What do you need from him? I’m not going to send his frequency if you’re just going to verbally molest him.
Ven> I’m out of the little blue pills.
Ayy> Wha—pills? What do you need them for?
Ven> For all your brains you’re certainly an idiot sometimes, product of my semen. I need the little blue pills so I can use my gilded needle.
Ayy> I liked progeny more.
Ven> If you give me the frequency of the Body I’ll never call you the product of my semen again, not to your face.
Ayy> Who is this ‘body’?
Ven> Your employer! That beautiful Tolian man!
Ayy> Goodbye, Dad.
Ven> What about my pills?!
Ayy> You can live without use of your ‘gilded needle’.
[Comm Transmission End]
Ven’shiri stares down at his comm unit is disbelief, “When did my progeny become such a bitch?”
I purchased a cape.
I so rarely purchase anything from another of my trade, but he swore it was styled exactly after that slick slyster of a cutie who is in all those Blue Milk advertisements.
How can I resist such a purchase?!
He’s both adorable and fabulous. I have to make a new outfit for myself to match it, but it does give me a reason to ignore my comms. And it’s only my ex-wife, all the ever wants to talk about is the grand-parasites and if my progeny is still with that Lokidonian.
I’ll tell her yes. It keeps her annoyed.
My progeny can’t return to Ryloth and Shavi won’t leave Ryloth. I see no harm in keeping her discontent. She’s happier when she’s miserable. I, however, will not be brought down!
I purchased a cape. This is an important day to my image.
First harvest since leaving Ryloth. The millaflower crop is perfect! The tall girl with the large breasts who my beautiful Doctor Brown is wasting his time with, commed me as I was testing it.
She found it important to tell me that my progeny was napping. She sounded so concerned about the fact that my progeny sleeps! Of course she sleeps you peedunky broad!
For kriff’s sake. Do you not sleep?! I’m positive that Doctor Glorious Brown doesn’t kriff your yellow rycrits arse all night!
I’ll get him from you, my pretty. You’ll see.
My progeny made me hire an assistant. The girl has spirit, but it’s hidden under layers of staunch arrogance. How dare she tell me I can’t look at the beautiful Half-lek she had with her?! This will take some work.
Oh Goddess, and she’s a Darian! How DO you make a Darian look like a ‘pale gem’? They all just look like rocks.
Enough of this. She’s my assistant now. There is a possibility I might have to come to terms with this lower standard of living.
I have hired a model. He is a god of the male physique. OH the patter of my heart! I lust for Demanto Akanth.
What is my progeny doing?! WHAT?! Because training to become a Manda-what-ian makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? Training with the very psychopath that blew her up makes even more sense! HE BLEW YOU UP STARSONG! On top of that, do you know what she tells me?! “I have no name.” What does she mean? Of course she has a name! I gave her the name! She’s Ayyda’shiri, Ayy’shiri, whatever she wants to be called. She says that she is walking away from us. US! Tiatkin and I! Why? FOR HIM? I swear, if this man doesn’t have a ten-foot cock, I’ll be entirely disappointed with her. But then, get this, then she says they’re NOT getting randy. She says I won’t understand.
…who’s going to support me now? I need a sugar-daddy. I wonder what the Body is doing… or that glorious Doctor Brown…
Or Demanto. He’s such a devilish man. I can feel the sun salutations coming on now.
…no. That’s my prostate revolting against my body.
I hate being old.
IS MY PROGENY LACTATING?! If she is, it’s got to be running out of her mind because she certainly doesn’t have the breasts to produce milk. OR! Anyone to knock her twig-arse up! After her horrendous conversation with me last night that broke my blooming heart, she comes to me and buys seedlings!
…two thousand credits worth of various seedlings. What is the product of my sperm planning?
I had my first two customers to my eyesore of a shop. Before I get into that, this shop is atrocious! What was my progeny thinking when she purchased it for me?! It’s trashy, it’s horrible. I swear on the Goddess that when I see her again I will tell that festering cuntsore exactly how I feel about it! I’m beginning to believe that not only is she lactacting common sense but a yeast infection got into her brain. She did comm me however and explain to me that I should be wary of Iridonians. Does she not realize that one of my customers yesterday was an Iridonian?! The feel I got from him when I was taking his measurements…
What they say about Iridonians is true!
But then there was that Mon Calamari. His tongue was vile and housed inside a three-cock mouth. Had it not been for my own mind playing with the different ways I’d love to test this observation I’d have run him out.
There’s been no response on my plea for help in finding a home for my business. I’m beginning to think no one wishes a geriatric Twi’lek… Perhaps I’ll speak with the Body.
I have moved to River Haven. I sit in this fantastical garden just outside the construction area that will become my new shop. I’ve found many a folk enjoying the view of the river from this perch. There is such solace here. My eldest progeny in the heat of her menstruation, departed River Haven. She has gone to be with my progeny and my eldest drunken jackass of a son. They wish to live in a junkyard. A junkyard! They say that they would rather live in trash than with me. The very idea of my parasites living in such horrible conditions just chafes my cock. They just won’t know what they’re missing here…
Today my new furniture will be delivered, I feel that this is just the tip of a glorious future.
My progeny called a meeting. She claims it was her father who called it. Who is this ‘father’ of hers? I’m the one who gave her life! It doesn’t matter… it’s what she claims. And of course in the mind of my progeny, what she claims is always correct. Goddess be damned if any of us tell her differently. When I entered her home, a journey so deep in the mountains that I felt my rectum pulsating by the time I arrived; I was greeted by two identical bucketheads. They both looked just like the one who blew her up and I’m willing to put my blue pills on the fact that one of them was.
I think they’re holding her hostage.
Why else would she stand in front of me and tell me I am just her birth father?! And of course Linn had to be there, drinking as he always does and not adding a single intoxicated word! He stood there and listened. He gave her his support! I think she’s pregnant, one of those buckets did it, I know it!
It’s the only thing I can possibly figure out…
She claims I will never see again. I have driven all of my childr—
The words drop off and the entry on the datapad blinks up at the dark ceiling of the small and undecorated shop in River Haven. Ven’shiri’s hand twitches a few times against the datapad, his eyes wide as he stares up at the ceiling gasping for air. He tries to call out for help, to reach for his comm but there his body fails him. The minutes turn to hours and the twitching finally subsides. His eyes lifeless.